Ugly and Unemployed? Homely and Homeless? Help Is On the Way.

U.S. News offers tips on how to succeed in business without really winning any beauty pageants.  I'm not making this up:

It's well known that beautiful people earn more, but what should you do if you're, well, homely?
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Poke fun at yourself. For example, a bald person might joke, "I never have a bad hair day." Someone with a big nose might say, "I have a great face for radio."
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You're overweight. Of course, it would be helpful if you lost weight, but that's often easier said than done. So for now, avoid tight clothing and, on the other extreme, the muumuu look.
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Your face is unattractive. Draw attention elsewhere. A great hairstyle or accessories such as jewelry, scarves, handbags, and shoes can refocus people's gaze.
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Consider working alone or with the same people each day. If you've tried everything and still feel your appearance brings you down, you might be more successful in a job where you work alone or with the same group of people each day.
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It takes effort to convert yourself from creepy to captivating.

This is horrendous!  I suppose these are helpful hints, but it's terribly saddening to think of people reading this, applying it to themselves, shoving their self-esteem a little further into the latrine, and acknowledging that the best course of action is to find a solitary job where people aren't burdened by the sight of their hideous mugs.

There are only so many bell towers, after all.