Vindication: Jersey Brought In the Funk

The powerful, gaseous odor that hung over much of Manhattan yesterday was disturbing enough that many large buildings were evacuated and some mass transit systems were halted.  911 and Con Ed were flooded with emergency phone calls from customers suspecting gas leaks.  Mayor Bloomberg held a press conference to announce that testing had shown the phenomenon was not dangerous, but was indeed mysterious, as no significant gas leaks were detected.

Not in New York anyway.

It now appears that something was indeed spewing a significant amount of gas, but it was emanating from the other side of the Hudson.

By evening, the answer seemed to be a stinky gas emitted by a New Jersey swamp or marsh.

"That's where our noses and instruments tell us" the smell was coming from, said Charles Sturcken, a spokesman for the city Department of Environmental Protection.

I had the good fortune never to come into noseshot of the stench, but that didn't prevent my divining the truth in short order, based on rigorous and burdensome meteorological and medical research.

The first hospitalizations are being reported, oddly enough in New Jersey, not New York (the oddity being that winds are out of the west today, so one might expect Manhattan, or even Brooklyn, Queens, or the Bronx to be getting the harsher whiff).  Maybe it was the Garden State who dealt it after all.

New Jersey, I frequently defend your aesthetics and typically neutral aroma to people whose familiarity with your countryside is limited to The Sopranos opening credits or vague childhood memories of riding the Turnpike through the post-apocalyptic landscape of Linden.  You have some lovely parks, excellent schools and universities, many rich historic sites, and popular beach fronts.  Not to mention Six Flags and Atlantic City.  And when I need to fly somewhere on Continental, Newark is my welcoming gateway.

But, NJ, buddy, when your marshes are gassy enough to aggrieve millions of people, you're not making it any easier.  Here, buy about 50,000 bottles and shovel them into the offending bog and we'll never speak of this unpleasantness again.

Previously:
Gotham Has Gas
Ooh Ooh, That Smell